Church in the Wild

Week 78: Fight Club
Pastor Rick Henderson            February 21-22, 2026

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Note: This manuscript isn’t a transcript of the sermon, but a planning guide showing what the speaker intends to say.

Go ahead and find 1 Corinthians 6.

This week I found myself thinking about this quote.

Be the person your dog thinks you are.

If I were the person my dog thinks I am, I’d be the best person you ever met. By the way, do you know why there isn’t a quote that says, “Be the person your cat thinks you are?” Because those jerks are judging us.

My dog thinks I’m amazing. But, there are some pages in the story of me that he’ll never see. The problem is that I know the full story. I’m just not who he thinks I am. To fully appreciate what we’re going to read today, it means first spending a couple of minutes thinking about our identity.

IDENTITY: the story you tell yourself about yourself

This is my favorite definition of identity. What is the story that you tell yourself about yourself?

I’ve also found it helpful to think about identity like a deck of cards. Each fact in the story of me is like a card in the deck. I’ve card cards that say husband, dad, friend, hunter, pastor. The full story, the true story of me, is the whole deck. But the most important card is the one at the top. The top card is the card that makes my life worth living. It’s the one that I can risk losing. It’s the one that, if I have it and if I keep it, I feel like I’m enough. My top card and your top card are the ones we count on for…

> SIGNIFICANCE
> SECURITY
> SATISFACTION

If this is new, or if you’re not sure what your top card is, what is something about you that, if you lost it, life would feel like it wasn’t worth living? Hold that in your mind as we read this.

1 CORINTHIANS 6:1-11

1 CORINTHIANS 6:1-11 If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the Lord’s people? Or do you not know that the Lord’s people will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life!

He dropped that bomb, moves on and doesn’t explain it. We will judge angels! What is that about? Because there isn’t further explanation, that suggest this wasn’t new information to them. He must have trusted they remembered something from a previous teaching that we don’t have access to. But we know this…

REVELATION 22:5 There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.

On the very first page of the Bible, we read that God created people in his image, with the purpose of ruling and reigning over creation. On the last page of the Bible, we read that for all eternity, we will reign with Christ. In ways that I don’t fully understand, leadership is an original and eternal part of his plan for people. Whatever Paul meant by judging angels, he was referring to this reality. We will reign with Jesus.

There is a theological term that is helpful to know: eschatology. That is a catch-all term to describe how everything is going to end up. Eschatology is about understanding everything we can understand about where history is headed. You need an eschatological perspective.

If you are in debt and want to get out, and you are feeling the pain of limiting your spending to pay it off, you need an eschatological perspective. Where is this headed? What is your story from the perspective of the future? You will be debt-free, which means you will be the master of your money and not mastered by your money. Looking at your financial discomfort now, from the perspective of your future, gives you what you need to manage the discomfort right now.

You need an eschatological perspective. If you are a follower of Jesus, from the perspective of the future, you will reign with him for eternity. I don’t know the details of that. I just know that’s a significant part of where my story is headed. That’s a significant part of where your story is headed if you are a follower of Jesus. The Apostle Paul’s point is act like it. Act like you know where your story is headed and apply that to how you handle conflict.

Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, do you ask for a ruling from those whose way of life is scorned in the church? I say this to shame you.

In chapter 4 he specifically said that he wasn’t writing to shame them. So, which is it. The word shame can be used in two ways. One way is to cause someone to think of themselves as worthless, or to cause others to see them as worthless. He is not doing that.

Another meaning of shame is to cause someone to lose social credibility. It’s not that someone is worthless; it's that the example they are setting isn't worth your trust. That’s what Pual is aiming at.

Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? But instead, one brother takes another to court—and this in front of unbelievers! The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers and sisters. Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Let’s be clear about this last part. He lists out some labels: sexually immoral, idolaters, greedy, etc. We could call those top cards. He was essentially telling them, these are things that used to define you. Some of the labels on this list you were proud of. Some you weren’t proud of. But these used to be your top cards, in that these are things that defined you. But all of that changed when you trusted in Jesus.

• You were washed. Your sins are forgiven: past, present, and future.
• You were sanctified. You have the status of holy.
• You were justified. You’re not simply declared not guilty. God sees you as innocent.

All of this is a gift of grace, given to anyone who trusts in Jesus. If you listen to the podcast, you’ve heard me say this.

Jesus lowered the BAR and raised the STANDARD.

The bar for entry is ridiculously low. He did all the work. It’s 100% based on what he did and 0% based on what we do or ever will do. That’s grace. If you will just trust in Jesus, you’re in. And at the same time, he raised the standard. Now that we are in Christ, we live in a way that is like him. Sanctification is both a declaration, “you are holy like Jesus.” And it’s a lifelong process of growing to be more like Jesus. Here’s my question.

QUESTION: How do we fight through conflict like Jesus?

In the church, the first rule of fight club is to talk about fight club. We are going to have conflict. We’ve got to figure out how to fight through conflict without fighting each other. We must figure out how to fight through conflict without turning relationships into collateral damage, without making our character collateral damage, without making our witness for Christ collateral damage.

Conflict isn’t WRONG, but it’s something we often get WRONG.

Do you know why we have conflict? Have you heard of people? They’re a mess. There’s a little more to it than that. Would I sound crazy to you if I said we can experience a deeply personal and painful conflict, while neither side has done anything morally wrong? It helps if we know how conflict typically kicks off.

COMMON SOURCES OF CONFLICT

• Perceptions

Maybe we read the same text thread, but with very different perceptions. It’s not a moral failure to misread or misunderstand a text message. But now we’re beefing.

• Expectations

Maybe what I expected you to do and what you expected me to do were mis-calibrated. Maybe we never actually stated our expectations to each other. Maybe we just assumed that the other person would have the same expectations. What comes naturally to me should come naturally to everyone else, right? (Joke?) Having different expectations is not a moral failure. But now we’re frustrated with each other. Weapon systems are hot, and it’s on.

• Desires

Maybe you want something different than what I want, and our desires are irreconcilable. That doesn’t necessarily mean that anyone is morally wrong. And yet, that can start a war in a relationship, in a friendship, in a church.

When we experience conflict, we feel the feelings we don’t like, and it’s easy, I mean, it’s ridiculously easy to translate unwanted feelings into the belief that someone is wrong. “I don’t want to feel this way. You made me feel this way. So, you’re wrong.”

Conflict can be personal and painful. We owe it to ourselves to handle ourselves and handle the other person with great care. And yes, conflict can arise because someone has immoral expectations or immoral desires. I’m not sure that a perception is a moral issue. But a perception can be unreasonable. And so can expectations and desires. Which means that conflict is complicated because you and I are complicated. If that’s true, then this is probably true too.

The hardest part of any conflict isn’t understanding WHAT to do but understanding WHO we are.

This is where we’re going to find out if this sermon is helpful or half-baked. I asked you earlier, what is your top card? We all have one. If you’re a follower of Jesus, we know that who we are in Jesus, being made new by him, that gives us a new identity, and that’s supposed to be our top card. If you asked me, “Rick, what’s your top card?” My answer wouldn’t be pastor, husband, or dad. It would be a follower of Jesus, co-heir with Christ, citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven, and ambassador of Jesus. And that card frames all the other cards in my deck. It should make me a better husband and dad. It should make me a better friend. It should free me to do the work of a pastor, but without making pastor my identity or source of worth and significance. Does that make sense?

Here’s the problem. Who I am in Jesus is my top card. But I’ve always got a card up my sleeve. That’s the card I can end up playing in the pivotal moments of conflict. I’ve probably got several cards up my sleeve, and they're all wild cards. But not fun wildcards. They’re the kind of wildcards that bring out the ugly inside. They are insecurity cards. One of the cards that I keep up my sleeve is the “I’m afraid of not being smart enough” card. Whenever there is a conflict that makes me feel like others see me as not smart enough, that insecurity card covers up my Jesus card. Am I making sense?

Another wild card that I keep up my sleeve is the “I need to be in control” card. And when things start to feel uncertain and scary, instead of playing my top card and trusting Jesus as the king and the one in control, I can easily start grasping for control. I’m not trying to bring heat today. I’m trying to bring light. Does this feel like clarity?

Let’s get honest. I don’t care about the story you think you’re supposed to tell yourself about yourself. I want to know what the story is that you’re telling yourself about yourself. Whatever that is, that’s your identity. And when conflict comes up, that story is coming out. And that was the problem in the church at Corinth.

1 CORINTHIANS 6:1 If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the Lord’s people?

Can you imagine being in a church where it was so commonplace for people to take each other to court that the pastor had to give a message series to get the people to knock it off? That was Corinth. What you are imagining right now is based on what you know about court. That makes sense. But it would be a mistake to take our current understanding of court and read it into this chapter. Lots of people have done that, and it creates problems.

Assuming Paul had something like our legal system in mind has led church leaders and church folk to attempt to resolve matters beyond their expertise and competence. I don’t think that’s what Jesus wants for us.

Assuming Paul was prohibiting Christians from using the legal system has led church leaders and church folks to fail to involve authorities in matters of abuse and criminal behavior. Sadly, that has led to unintentionally perpetuating domestic abuse and sexual abuse. I don’t think that’s what Jesus wants for us.

Have you ever heard of vexatious litigation? It was common practice in Roman courts at the time this was written.

VEXATIOUS LITIGATION: It is a manipulative use of lawsuits and legal procedures to prolong cases, increase court appearances and associated financial charges, seeking to overwhelm and wear down the other party, to achieve victory, not justice, at their expense.

In the Roman world, this was normal. And the legal system was set up, by design, to advantage the rich, powerful, and prestigious. It was set up by design to disadvantage the poor, the weak, and the unimportant. Believe it or not, this was not because they weren’t smart enough to think through legal philosophies and theories of justice.

This normal, fully accepted practice in the Roman world and the city of Corinth was based on their theology. They believed that the gods honored the wealthy and powerful and didn’t care about the weak and unimportant. So, why should they? This legal practice was born out of the depths of their worldview and religion.

The last bit of information we need to remember is that prestige was highly valued in Corinth. If they felt slighted or had lost social standing or prestige, vexatious litigation was common practice to reset the board. It’s how you might knock the other person down the ladder so that you could climb back up.

People in the church at Corinth were doing that to each other. Which means, they forgot who they were. They forgot that their top card was who they were in Christ. People in the Corinthian church were still living by the values of their city rather than living by the values of their crucified Savior.

The problem was not conflict. The problem on the surface, or the presenting symptom was how they handled conflict. And it was a major problem. Yet, deeper down, beneath the surface, true diagnosis was that they had forgotten their identity in Christ. Instead of being formed by the self-sacrificing love of Jesus, they were formed by their culture.

FORMED BY CULTURE: A way of living that’s shaped by the values, habits, stories, and anxieties of the culture

• The aim of conflict is WINNING.

How is this relevant to us since vexatious litigation doesn’t exist in our church? I don’t think any of us is all that vulnerable to taking each other to court. But we might be vulnerable to the spirit of vexatious litigation in how we relate to each other in times of conflict.

I’m sure we could come up with more. This isn’t an attempt at an exhaustive list. But I think there is a spirit of vexatious litigation that we all share some vulnerability to.

SPIRIT OF VEXATION:

• Campaigns of Contempt
  • Gossip
  • Slander
  • Dishonesty (strategically withholding facts)
• Flooding the Zone
  • Endless debating and arguing
  • Exhausting requests, texts, and emails
  • Repeating the same question, but ignoring answers and boundaries from the other person
• Power Plays
  • Guilt trips
  • Gas lighting
  • Anger and threats
  • Withdrawing presence, affection, or participation

Whenever any of those show up in us, it might indicate we have forgotten who we are. We are being formed more by our culture than by the way of Jesus. Instead of being formed by culture, I want to commend the cruciform life to us.

CRUCIFORM: A way of living that’s shaped by the cross, in which we are formed by the self-sacrificing love of Jesus and the hope of resurrection

There is a verse in this chapter that I have a love-hate relationship with. I really don’t want this verse to be in the Bible. And yet, I’m a big fan of why it’s in the Bible. I’m complicated.

1 CORINTHIANS 6:7 The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?

Why not rather be wronged?! I’ll tell you why. I don’t like the way it feels. But it’s deeper than that. When someone wrongs me, when someone is dishonest in the way they represent me, or the way they represent a leadership decision I made, the natural response is to feel like I’ve been diminished. The natural response is to feel like they’ve taken something from me that I need to get back. The natural response is to reset the board and diminish them so I can get my prestige back.

When I play the card that’s up my sleeve, instead of my top card, when I play that insecurity card, the story that I’m telling myself about myself is that to be OK, to be enough, I have be viewed by other people a certain way. And when someone misrepresents me or lies about me, that’s an attack on my identity, and it can unleash the beast in me. Can anyone relate? That’s what happens when we’re formed by culture.

But in the cruciform life, I remember that my top card is who I am in Jesus. You can beat me. You can cheat me. You can lie about me and misrepresent me. But you don’t have the ability to take my identity from me. Jesus holds that secure. So, you might hurt me. You might wound me. But you cannot rob me of identity. That means that what you do does not define what I do. No matter what, I am defined by who I am in Jesus. Because of him, I can respond to conflict in a way that reflects him.

Let me take it a little further. Because my identity is secure, I don’t need to get anything from you to feel OK about me. Because I don’t need from you, I’m free to give to you. Even if you were to wrong me, I’m freed by Jesus to love you and give to your well-being.

• The aim of conflict is RESTORATION.

The cruciform life is a life that is shaped by Jesus. He would rather be wronged and pay the price for all of our wrongs than hold them against us. That’s what the cross is all about. When we trust in him, that becomes our life. This isn’t natural. And that’s OK. It’s supernatural.

When we trust in Jesus, the Holy Spirit of God comes to live with us and in us. He makes us able, as we practice being with Jesus and becoming like Jesus, so that we can do as he did. And when we are gripped by the truth, goodness, and beauty of that, when we understand that as our identity, in moments of conflict, we will aim at restoration. We will be people who value restoration more than egos and reputations.

And we don’t have to do this alone. We are the body of Christ. We are a church family. We get to help each other remember the gospel. We get to help each other remember who we are in Jesus. And we get to help each other fight through conflict without fighting each other. I want to wrap up with part of Jesus’ prayer, the night he was arrested. Knowing the cross was hours away, he prayed this.

JOHN 17:20-23 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

Wow! Jesus hung his credibility on our ability to live this. May we be people who understand who we are in him and live the cruciform life because the reputation and credibility of Jesus is worth it.

Maybe you wouldn’t describe yourself as a follower of Jesus, but you can’t help yourself. There’s something in you that is drawn to the idea that restoration is better than winning. There’s something in you that’s drawn to the idea that you can have an identity that is safe and secure, that no one could take from you. I can’t say it in the way that you would say it, but maybe this feels like oxygen to you. Wouldn’t it be nice if God truly loved you this way and made it possible for you to love this way too.

If you’ve seen other people experience this, why wouldn’t you let yourself experience it too? It begins with trusting in Jesus.