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Message Notes: 1 Timothy Week 4

1 Timothy

Week 4: Chapter 3

Pastor Rick Henderson                February 17-18, 2024


Today we are jumping into 1 Timothy 3. Grab a Bible or use your phone and find that passage. Last week we rolled up our sleeves and dug into what is one of the most controversial passages in the New Testament. It was the first big step in our ongoing conversation about leadership. Recently our Elder Board shared that it’s the practice of Autumn Ridge Church that women can serve in and occupy all positions of leadership in our church. There are going to be more church-wide conversations coming. Stay tuned for that. Once we have dates finalized, we will let you know. It’s the intent of our Elder Board to give you resources. And when we gather for some church family meetings, we will host Q&As. I hope you give yourself the gift of taking full advantage of that.

This is one of those things that produces a wide range of responses. Some people are celebrating. Some people are concerned. I hope everyone is curious. Not everyone sees this topic the same way. And that is totally OK. This conversation intersects with the major theme of 1 Timothy. Do you remember our theme verse?

1 TIMOTHY 4:16 Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

The doctrine we teach and the doctrine we live out is a BIG deal. When those two things come together, and we persevere—that means we keep going no matter what. When we keep moving forward in teaching the gospel and living out the gospel, the result is salvation. The result is healing. It’s so, so good for everyone involved. And as a church, we are resolved to not just teach the gospel, but to live the gospel. That’s what’s behind our series thesis.

SERIES THESIS: We teach WHAT we know but reproduce WHO we are.

Every parent in here wishes this wasn’t always true. Every leader in here wishes this wasn’t always true. Every teacher in here wishes this wasn’t always true. We get it. We know that both what we teach and what we model are massively important. It’s just that the impact of the two isn’t equal. Our examples carry far more weight than what we teach. If we teach and communicate everything perfectly, but just one time do the opposite—what do our kids remember and talk about? It’s not fair, but that’s the way it is.

  • If your boss says all the right things but models the opposite—which do you weight more heavily, words or actions?
  • If your financial advisor says all the right things, but models the opposite—which do you weight more heavily, words or actions?
  • If a political leader says all the right things, but models the opposite—which do you weight more heavily, words or actions?
  • If a church says all the right things, but models the opposite—which do nonbelievers weight more heavily, words or actions?

We teach what we know but reproduce who we are. We teach that Jesus is our head. We teach that he brings together diverse groups of people and individuals and makes us all one. Differences in gender, ethnicity, socio-economic status, and all kinds of other things no longer divide us. We teach that even when we disagree, and we are going to disagree on all kinds of things, we are one in Christ and, therefore, humbly submit to one another and stay united with one another. Collectively, as a church, and individually, we all get to decide.

QUESTION: Are we going to just teach the gospel or are we going to teach and model the gospel?

The chapter that we are about to read together is all about what we teach and who we are. And it starts with the leaders. It includes everybody, but it starts with the leaders. As we read, I want you to answer this question. Which gets more emphasis, being a good teacher or being a good example?

1 TIMOTHY 3:1-16 Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap. In the same way, deacons are to be worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons. In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything. A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well. Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus. Although I hope to come to you soon, I am writing you these instructions so that, if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth. Beyond all question, the mystery from which true godliness springs is great: He appeared in the flesh, was vindicated by the Spirit, was seen by angels, was preached among the nations, was believed on in the world, was taken up in glory.

LEADERSHIP QUALITIES

  • Above Reproach
  • Faithful to Wife
  • Temperate
  • Self-controlled
  • Respectable
  • Hospitable
  • Able to Teach
  • Not Given to Drunkenness
  • Not Violent, Gentle
  • Not Quarrelsome
  • Not a Lover of Money
  • Manages Family
  • Not a Recent Convert
  • Good Reputation with Outsiders 

These are the qualities; these are the expectations of those who lead in the church. Even if today is your first day ever at Autumn Ridge, even if you’ve never met me before—you get to expect this from me and from every pastor and from every elder. These are the nonnegotiables of leaders and leadership.

Take a good look at this list. Is this the bullseye of just a few people, or should this be the target for all of us? Is this something that everyone should aim at? What do you think?

1 TIMOTHY 3:1 Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task.

Did he really mean whoever?

I’ve got this window here to help us think about a reality that is both common and immensely powerful. This reality is so powerful that changes our ability, for good or bad, to see and acknowledge facts. This reality is so common that we may not even notice it. Whether this thing that I’m talking about whether it helps us or harms us 100% depends on which side of the window we stand.

I think most of us know that what comes most easily is rarely what’s good for us. The easiest thing in the world is to read the Bible through the window of our experiences and beliefs and expectations and assumptions and pre-loaded ways of thinking. It’s normal. It’s easy. But it’s not good for us.

The better way takes effort and discipline. The Bible becomes the window through which we understand and evaluate our experiences, beliefs, expectations, and ways of thinking. But if we go with the way that comes most easily, we will read our assumptions into the text. We will read our church and cultural experiences into the text. We will read our biases into the text.

If you stand on the easy side and you came with the bias or belief that women can lead without restrictions—I promise that you are going to see it in the text. If you stand on the easy side and you came with the bias or belief that women should be restricted in leadership—I promise that you are going to see it in the text.

Before we go any further, I need to let you know that I’m going to share some information that may be new to you. Some of us may feel excited or surprised. And sometimes when we receive information that doesn’t align with a long-held perspective, it can even feel threatening. That’s a normal human experience. In those moments we get to choose to be defensive or to be curious.

If we go with defensiveness, we are standing on the easy side of the window. If we go with curiosity, we are standing on the better side. Let’s choose curiosity.

Message Notes: 1 Timothy Week 4

Today, I’m asking you to be more like a scientist than a sniper. Take in and fully process all the information that is available to you. Let’s be people who take truth seriously. That’s one of our values. Let’s pre-decide right now that we are not going to shoot down information that disagrees with us. The technical term for what I’m talking about is…

CONFIRMATION BIAS:

  • We only receive information that affirms our view.
  • We reject information that contradicts our view.

1 TIMOTHY 3:1 Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task.

Does whoever really mean whoever?

After writing what has become the most hotly contested passage regarding men and women in church leadership, Paul immediately wrote these words. There are two hooks that should reel us in. First, Paul used the most inclusive pronoun available to him. That word “whoever” literally means whoever. There are no restrictions. It’s the most inclusive pronoun he could have used. If he wanted to restrict this to only men, he could have easily done that. But he didn’t.

Imagine if I sent a text to every one of our high school students and announced that anyone who wants a summer job as an intern at our church should come to a meeting with me. And when the students showed up, I only let the guys in and told the girls to go home. If you’re a parent of a high school girl, you’d probably be mad at me, and I’d deserve it. Without a doubt, you’d say to me, “Why did you say whoever when you only meant boys?”

Let’s think back to what he wrote in chapter 1.

1 TIMOTHY 1:5 The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

Everything in this letter should be read from that intent. According to Jesus, everything in Scripture can be distilled down to love. So let’s ask the question. Is it loving to welcome everyone into the aspiration of church leadership, but then only address men?

  • Passive aggressive
  • Rude
  • Tone deaf

These would all be understandable labels if that is, in fact, what Paul did. He didn’t. One of the reasons that we may think he’s only talking to men is that there are so many masculine pronouns. When referring to leaders, it continuously says he and only says he. Or does it?

1 TIMOTHY 3:1-7:

  • English: 10 masculine pronouns
  • Greek: 0 masculine pronouns

There isn’t a single he in the original Greek. There aren’t just no masculine pronouns, there are no more pronouns used in these verses after writing whoever, the most inclusive pronoun possible. So, why in the world are there so many masculine pronouns? The simple reason is that if we don’t insert pronouns, it just reads weird. The only way to make the reading smooth when translating from Greek into English is to add pronouns. And we don’t have gender-neutral pronouns in English.

In just about every language, biblical Greek included, when addressing both men and women, the masculine form of the word is used to address both. If the feminine form of a word is used, it’s for women only. But when addressing both men and women, the masculine is used. We see that in our own language. So, let’s look at what a leader should look like.

LEADERSHIP QUALITIES

  • Above Reproach: If his/her character were on trial, the verdict is not guilty.
  • Faithful to Wife: If married, his/her heart and body is fully and exclusively given to one person.

Last month, when we were in Ghana, Pastor Otis preached in a village. About 120 people publicly decided to follow Jesus. A church was born that day in that village. It was awesome. It’s normal to preach in a village and be given yams or a chicken as an expression of gratitude.

Message Notes: 1 Timothy Week 4

This village elder was so thankful to Otis that he asked if he would like one of the women from the village as a wife? Now Otis is already married. He politely declined. He did ask if he could see her first. That’s a joke. He didn’t. He was gracious and he was quick with is no.

It’s totally understandable to read this and think, to be a church leader you have to be a man. Let me show what this phrase looks like in Greek.

miav gunaikov andra

“one woman man”

This was a colloquialism that meant monogamous. While it might seem strange to those who only speak English, this expression could be used with a mixed-gender audience to mean monogamous. There was a similar expression that quite literally was, “one-man woman.” But whenever addressing a co-ed audience, the masculine version of the colloquialism could be used to describe monogamy or faithfulness for both men and women.

Now, if I’ve been taught that this expression means that it’s only men who can lead, I’m probably not convinced yet. I wouldn’t expect you to be convinced either. Thom Schreiner is a widely respected biblical scholar. If there is a Mount Rushmore of biblical scholars who teach that women should be restricted from leadership, Thom Schreiner is on it. Let’s hear what he has to say about this expression, one-woman man.

The requirements for elders in 1 Tim 3:1–7 and Titus 1:6–9, including the statement that they are to be one-woman men, does not necessarily in and of itself preclude women from serving as elders… –Thom Schreiner

The last thing I want to do is play fast and loose with quoting someone who disagrees with my conclusion. If you go on to read more of what he says, you’ll read why he believes women should be restricted from leadership. This expression, however, isn’t one of those reasons. I know that there are some of you who have been told that this expression means that only men can lead. Many of you have asked me to address that in this sermon. Would you let the full weight of this land on you? One of the most trusted, if not the most trusted biblical scholar who believes that women should be restricted from leadership, says that this expression does not necessarily exclude women.

Do you remember the circles of context that I introduced last week?

Message Notes: 1 Timothy Week 4

Does the straightforward, plain English language reading of the text fit with the context of the immediate chapter? If we go with the straightforward reading, the restriction of church leadership isn’t just to men—it’s to faithfully married men. If this qualification excludes women, it also excludes single men. That means that the man who wrote this is excluded from church leadership. Paul wasn’t married. The man that he was writing to most likely wasn’t married. That means that Timothy couldn’t be a church leader either.

Let’s expand outward to other things Paul wrote. In 1 Corinthians 7 he wrote that he wishes that more people would remain single like him, so that they can be more fully engaged in ministry. How can it be that singleness frees you for ministry like Paul and simultaneously makes you unable to lead in ministry?

In all seriousness, does that make sense? Who else would be excluded from leadership if it’s restricted to married men only? JESUS! It’s incoherent to conclude that church leaders must be married. Scholars on both sides of this issue will tell you that this doesn’t mean men only. The best understanding is that a church leader, if married, should be monogamous and faithful.

  • Temperate: He/she is levelheaded and a clear thinker.
  • Self-controlled: He/she is not mastered by impulses, desires, or habits.
  • Respectable: People in the church trust him/her.
  • Hospitable: He/she has a heart for strangers.

The word for hospitality in Greek looks like this.

filoxenon

Love for the stranger or love for the foreigner. Gospel hospitality means having a heart that is calibrated toward others, especially those who everybody else treats like an other. I teased Pastor Otis earlier. Really, he’s an easy man to honor. I don’t know that I’ve ever met anyone whose heart oriented toward people like his. We are blessed to have a man like him in our church. I’m blessed and I think I’m becoming a more devoted follower of Jesus because of his leadership of me.

  • Able to Teach: He/she can explain Scripture in way that is clear, memorable, and applicable.
  • Not Given to Drunkenness: If he/she drinks, he/she drinks responsibility and has the ability to say no to self.
  • Not Violent, Gentle: His/her strength is under control and is deployed for you, never against you.

Message Notes: 1 Timothy Week 4

If you watched the Super Bowl you remember this moment that Travis Kelce got aggressive with is coach. The game wasn’t going well, and he was hot. No judgment from me. That’s exactly how I felt about my fantasy football team this year.

This week he went on a podcast with his brother and wanted to set the record straight. He admitted he crossed a line that shouldn’t be crossed. And then he described what happened next. He went to the bench and saw the coach coming his way. He fully expected to get chewed out. The coach was calm and simply said, “Hey man, I love your passion. I got cameras on me all over the place man, you don't want things to come off [badly].”

That was strength under control and used for his player’s benefit. That caused Travis Kelce to feel even more disappointed in his own actions, but it also caused his trust, admiration, and love for the coach to go up. We could all benefit from receiving more gentleness. I bet every single person in your life and mine would benefit from more gentleness from us.

  • Not Quarrelsome: He/she doesn’t have to win and can be OK with being misunderstood.
  • Not a Lover of Money: He/she is not greedy and is not under the influence of money nor those who have lots of it.
  • Manages Family: His/her spouse and kids don’t get the leftovers.
  • Not a Recent Convert: He/she has a long track record of devotion to Jesus.

This is what we discovered last week.

First LEARN then LEAD.

We can’t share what we don’t have. People need our Christlikeness more than they need whatever competency or skillset we have. Competencies and skillsets are important. But they’ll never outweigh Christlikeness. Every single one of us needs to give ourselves the time needed to grow and become more like Jesus. Then we lead.

  • Good Reputation with Outsiders: Nonbelievers may not agree with him/her, but they trust him/her.

When we talk about leaders in the church: elders/overseers/pastors—which are three different ways of describing the same leadership position, these are the characteristics we should look for and expect.

LEADERSHIP QUALITIES

  • Above Reproach
  • Faithful to Wife
  • Temperate
  • Self-controlled
  • Respectable
  • Hospitable
  • Able to Teach
  • Not Given to Drunkenness
  • Not Violent, Gentle
  • Not Quarrelsome
  • Not a Lover of Money
  • Manages Family
  • Not a Recent Convert
  • Good Reputation with Outsiders

And when they aren’t there, we hold them accountable. We’ll talk about that a whole lot more in week 7. The next chunk of this passage also describes the role of deacon. I don’t have enough time to talk about that. But let me quickly address a few things.

The first is that the major emphasis is always role and responsibility, not title or position. Did you know that Jesus used the word for deacon to describe himself? Did you know that the Apostle Paul used the word for deacon to describe himself? That’s because the emphasis is on the character. It’s never about rank, status, or privilege.

It’s fair to ask why we don’t have deacons at our church. There are two parts to that answer. The first is, I don’t really know. There used to be a position called deacon at our church. That went away about 2 decades ago. If you read Acts 6, you’ll see why deacons were first instituted in the church. There was a ministry need that the other church leaders didn’t have the margin to address. So, the role of deacon was created.

If you’ve never heard of Nijay Gupta, let me introduce you to him. He is a sharp, New Testament scholar and very easy to read. This is how he describes deacons.

The term ‘deacon’ might give the wrong impression that this was some fort of formal office…The generic term meaning ‘servant,’ can also be misleading, because writers like Paul were using diakonos sometimes in reference to a form of leadership. I want to propose a new translation: ‘ministry provider.’…So ‘ministry provider’ is meant to communicate that diakonoi desired to care for and serve people, and they presumably had some experience, training, and gifting that established their authority and status to be recognized and respected. –Nijay Gupta

From that perspective we do have deacons, hundreds of them. That’s what ministry team leaders do. That’s what Scott Baxter does as the leader of our SERV Team. That’s what small group leaders do. We have many ministry providers in this church. Without those of you who do that, ministry wouldn’t happen. For all of you who serve on a team, who are doing the work of ministry. You deserve our respect and appreciation. You have my respect and appreciation. Ministry happens up close, not with a microphone.

I TIMOTHY 3:14-16 Although I hope to come to you soon, I am writing you these instructions so that, if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth. Beyond all question, the mystery from which true godliness springs is great: He appeared in the flesh, was vindicated by the Spirit, was seen by angels, was preached among the nations, was believed on in the world, was taken up in glory.

I want to end by focusing on how Paul ends this chapter. This is his whole point for writing all that he has written. So that we all will know how to conduct ourselves. This is what we’ve seen through the first three chapters.

  • Everything we do is ultimately motivated by love.
  • Even with people who are in the wrong, let’s respond to them with truth and grace in the same way Jesus did for us.
  • Let’s be humble, submissive, peaceful people who pray for our leaders.
  • Men, in the way we show up physically, we are all about humility and peace.
  • Women, in the way you show up physically, you are all about humility and peace.
  • We are all learners.
  • We don’t strong-arm and usurp authority or impose ourselves.
  • We trust Jesus even when we are scared.
  • And we lead in ways that reflect Jesus and the gospel.

Notice again that Paul emphasizes the gospel. He’s done it in every chapter. He continues to practice Gospel Fluency: identify the content of the gospel, understand the implications of the gospel, and apply the motivations of the gospel.

Everything that we’ve talked about flows out of that. To the extent that you know the gospel, align with the implications of the gospel and are motivated by it—do you know what you’re going to become? A leader.

Leadership is a DESTINATION of discipleship.

There was a couple who came to our Ash Wednesday service, and it was their first time ever at Autumn Ridge. They’re from out of town, visiting Mayo. On Wednesday they received bad news that really shook them up. Their nurse that day happened to be from our church. He prayed with them and invited them to come to the service that night. So they came. After the service they wanted Pastor Caleb to know because their nurse prayed for them, and because of what they received in the service, they were at peace.

The nurse who prayed for them put the gospel in action. That’s leadership. Whoever aspires to leadership, desires a noble task. May we be people are compelled by that desire to lead, who put the gospel in action.